We are truly in the throes of deeply challenging, turbulent and confusing times. This is a very new experience for us as we are a lot more conscious of having to face the unknown. Prior to this, we walked around the world with the experience that things are fine and we can make plans and we just automatically assumed things would work out, and they typically did. For example, we were able to make plans with a friend for coffee and we wouldn’t say provided nothing catastrophic happens. We are literally being confronted with the reality that certainty is an illusion. My hope is that these tips can help pivot towards a sense of calm and steady.
In some ways anxiety is helpful because it pushes us to take action against a potential emergency, however too much anxiety is overwhelming and can actually cause more problems than the object of the fear. It’s important to know that the mind has a negative bias by nature. That is it WILL, automatically consider the worst; that just seems to be the way we’re built. We can’t control what comes into our minds, we can only control what we do with the thought once it shows up. We have to consciously sort through and recognize that we have a choice in which thought we pay attention to.
Tip #1 Is this worry worth paying attention to now?
In order to manage anxiety, it is important to ask: Is this worry something you should pay attention to, right now? Worry is supposed to be step one of the problem solving process. It becomes overwhelming and out of control when worry begins to overwhelm us all day long and we get stuck in it. One of the strategies to implement for working through this is by asking yourself: Is this worry something I can address and build a plan around at this moment? If the answer is no, we should let it go for the time being.
Tip #2: Stay out of imagined futures
Spend as much time as you can in the present moment. The simplest way to differentiate whether the mind is in the present or if it’s in the imagined future, is paying attention to sensory experience. When we are in the moment we have sensory data, which is all in the moment in which we’re living- what you can hear, what you can see and what you can smell. The imagined future is based on thinking only. Although it is very difficult to not worry ahead and imagine worst case scenarios, it helps to adjust our level of alertness to our immediate surroundings. Living in the present moment can present us with the opportunity for certainty, and it can give us a sense of control.
Tip #3 create rules
Having rules for ourselves is important because it makes things manageable and then we can adapt the rules as we go on and as things change. One rule that most experts agree on, especially during difficult times, is watching the news no more than twice a day, 30 minutes at a time. Another rule could be: I will keep up with my workout routine as much as possible. As we create and implement these rules we access our own power over what is controllable and this is stabilizing.
Tip #4 sensory experience
In order to manage anxiety and feel calm, we have to go inward. How is your body feeling? Being able to pay attention to your internal bodily sensations can help address feelings before they take a hold. The body will signal your feelings. We can tune in to our bodies by paying attention to the heart’s rate, our breathing, muscle tensions, and bring deep breaths and awareness to those places in the body. These signals will tell you that it is time to do something that is grounding.
Grounding techniques include slowing down our breathing and focusing on the sensation of the air moving in and out of the nostrils. Another grounding technique can include running your hand in a jar of coffee beans, or rice for a soothing, mindful experience of the moment. It can be as simple as being in the moment when brushing your teeth and experiencing every sensory part of it (the taste of the toothpaste, the feel of the water, etc). The basic idea of mindfulness is doing one thing at a time, with full attention to that thing, experiencing that moment, and having the mind watch, without evaluating.
Tip #5 self soothing & mindful acceptance
It is important to remember that any emotion only lasts 90 seconds unless our thoughts feed it. It’s scientifically proven that once we identify and not judge any emotion we’re having, when we just acknowledge it and to let it be, it dissipates easier. The struggle is that the brain is wired to push away our emotions, so this requires conscious work. We can moderate our response to painful experiences and manage anxiety by acknowledging them and giving them permission to exist. Here is a list of statements we can say to ourselves that can be helpful to find a sense of calm.
It’s ok to feel all the feelings I’m feeling
Nothing lasts forever
Feelings come in waves; they come and go
Uncertainty is frightening
Feeling a lack of control is very scary
It’s ok to be scared
It’s ok to be a good enough parent right now
It’s ok to do nothing at all
Nothing is expected of me today and that’s ok
There will be a time when this is a memory
We access our resilience during difficult times
It’s ok to take a break from the news
Our hope is that these five tips can help navigate these turbulent times and slow down our brains to reach a calm state. Anxiety is a normal biological response to threat and during these times it is almost impossible not to feel some level of it. One also doesn’t have to have a diagnosable “disorder” to benefit from talk therapy right now, or ever, really, and here at Mindfully Alive we operate under the belief that we ALL can benefit from therapy at any time and we steer away from pathologizing anything, as we are all just real people feeling very real things. If you are having a hard time unhooking yourself from anxiety (which is hard to do on one’s own) or worry we are here and equipped to help you find a sense of equilibrium.
Stay well, stay grounded, stay present
Mindfully Alive
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