Amanda Wasserman, LCSW PMH-C
Licensed Clinical Social Worker, EMDR and Perinatal Mental Health Certified.
People familiar in narcissistic abuse recovery may also have been raised by emotionally immature parents. Intimacy destroying conditions originally set up by the rules and roles in dysfunctional families, keep people operating with masks and pretense in their relationships. Some of these unspoken rules in unhealthy family systems include:
– Do what “looks good”, even if it is dishonest
– Don’t be a bother and don’t rock the boat
– Think about what other people want first and only
– Feel apologetic for needing help
– Do most of the emotional work in relationships
– Express only happy, positive feelings
– It is wrong/weak to be angry or sad
– Make sure others are comfortable and happy at whatever cost
– If people are not happy, I am not safe
These type of rules and narcissistic abuse create belief systems and patterns in relationships that leave people with difficulty trusting others, judging oneself mercilessly and have a high tolerance for disrespectful/narcissistic behavior. They may feel very guilty when trying to relax or have fun and operate on perfectionism and feeling terrified of receiving criticism. Moreover, the effects of these belief systems can manifest as attempts to control circumstances or relationships and unnecessarily take responsibility for other people’s feelings or situations. The tendency to neglect our own needs can lead to exhaustion, burnout, loneliness and depletion; the fallout mimicking posttraumatic stress disorder.
If these feelings and patterns resonate, it’s possible that you were raised in an unhealthy family system by emotionally immature parents, and it is also likely that these patterns persist in your adult relationships. What’s more is that the most primitive parts of our brain tell us that safety lies in familiarity, even if this familiarity is soul depleting.
If left unresolved these patterns interfere not only with our romantic relationships, but can penetrate into high tolerance for exploitative work environments, work addictions, one-sided friendships and intense overwhelm when becoming a new parent. Moreover, such patterns may show up somatically such as in medically unexplained chronic pain or autoimmune disorders.
My areas of expertise include:
– Breaking the Patterns of People Pleasing
– Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents
– Narcissistic Abuse Recovery in Adult Relationships
– Setting Boundaries
– Teenagers and Self Esteem
– Birth Trauma
– Panic Attacks
– Social Anxiety
– Body Image
My Approach
Through a trauma-informed lens and the mind/body/spirit connection, I offer the healing conditions necessary for understanding the original let down in our families, grieving the losses that accompany this type of childhood and the emotional loneliness in adult relationships that follow the original trauma patterns and rules. My aim is to catalyze healing and change so that our relationships with ourselves and others can be reciprocal, offer depth in connection and intimacy and so that life can be more easy and fun. Moreover, instead of being too dependent or taking care of others and refusing help, my clients learn to take care of themselves and be realistically interdependent in mutually satisfying relationships.
Next, in using EMDR, we are able to integrate painful life experiences and reprocess maladaptive encoding of such experiences. Through this approach, my clients create a sense of ownership over their healing journey and their responses and behaviors in life. They experience deep personal freedom, authenticity, purpose and wisdom that can only come from within.
I received my Master’s in Social Work from NYU in 2018 and completed my PMH-C certification in 2021. In 2022 I completed my EMDR training which has allowed my clients to tap into the wellspring of untapped internal resources for the embodiment of inner freedom and ease.
If you feel called to work with me to create a deep and lasting impact on your personal psychology, I would be humbled and honored to take this healing journey with you.
