What You Can Do About Your Work-Life Balance Right Now

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When we are expected to answer an email within 30 minutes of when it is sent, regardless of what time of night..

When there is not a clear distinction between where work ends and life begins..

When we are expected to be on all the time..

And rest and relaxation can be looked down upon as lazy..

What happens to us?

I say this phrase often to my clients and they always tell me in the following session that it stuck with them:

 We have become human doings, not human beings.

We live in an achievement oriented society where productivity is the priority. We become defined by what we do (action, achievement, performance, outcome) and there are usually great rewards: status, financial gains, recognition- promotions, happiness, sometimes new friends.

But what happens when it doesn’t go well, and what happens if my sense of worth comes exclusively from what I have been able to achieve not who I AM – it becomes measured by the outside and not the inside.

And how does this affect our relationships? Work is predictable (in most situations) and we have a sense of control over it, whereas relationships are more uncertain or in some cases too certain and too familiar, and require a more playful than professional self. When we are playful or humorous, we are living in the moment, present and alive; what psychologist Esther Perel calls the erotic self, the sense of vitality.

“Otheration” is the term used by the Spanish philosopher Ortega Y. Gasset to describe dehumanization. He says that man is the only being who lives from within. To be truly human is to have an inner self and a life from within”.

In order to make the transition from external to within we must become deliberate.

Here are 3 Things You Can Start Doing Now to Regain Your Work-Life Balance:

• Create a soothing ritual to mark the end of your day- this is a message to your brain that it is time to shut down and stop thinking. This can vary from taking a walk, to taking a shower to reading a book or magazine, lighting candles, whatever works for you.
• Connect with the people in your life- people first- not the mail. When you enter your home make sure your attention goes directly to the people in your life, a gesture of connection or a loving gaze of acknowledgement.
• Consider a technology detox (if your type of work allows for it). For example, putting the phone on airplane mode as soon as you get home, or responding to emails only during work hours, resisting the urge to refresh your Facebook or Instagram feed and instead talk to your significant other, or watch a show together. (read more on why watching shows together can bring couples closer) 

The benefits:

• Increased creativity and spontaneity
• Increased mindfulness
• Increased productivity and focus
• increased sense of togetherness with the important people in your life

Please let me know your thoughts!

Andrea